Hell Hotel
by Glitterrock
Summary: This is crack. This is what happens when you don't sleep and eat sugar. Gaara ends up taking a vacation! With several of his friends! Like Neji, Itachi, and much much more. Guest star the Grim Reaper! Warning: bad words are used.


A/N: This story is pure stupidity, so there. There is a bit of a reference to a story that we have done before but you don't need to read those to understand what is going on. Just understand that Krit and Gwen have been in the land of Naruto once before ok? And that I down own anything from naruto blah blah blah Ok. P.S review or I eat your thumbs. And the story before this is called "Push up Pops" go to our profile to find it, it is also stupid.

**P.S (AGAIN!) There are four chapters to this but I didn't want to post them separately so I just put them all in one document and this is it! **

Hell Hotel

Chapter 1

One day when the Kazekage, (aka Gaara) was doing his paper work, he noticed that a swirling purple vortex about the size of a beach ball, had opened up in front of him. It looked familiar, like he had seen it before in a dream. Suddenly a brown fuzzy bowling ball shot out of the vortex and nailed him in the face, knocking him out of his chair, and to the floor. Grabbing it as it hit him, Gaara noticed that it wasn't a ball at all; it was a mole. The mole and Gaara stared at each other for a few seconds, the mole being upside down and looking up at Gaara, while he looked down at it's butt, started to scream; making him scream as well.

As the two on the floor screamed at each other, another creature came from the vortex, only much slower and quieter. It was a fox; looking over she saw that her friend and the Kazekage were having an interesting conversation, if it could be called as such. So she decided to see what was on his desk, papers, lots of paper, and a candy bar that wasn't eaten. Taking a bite out of the candy bar, she realized that it tasted like sawdust; spitting it out onto the official documents that the Kazekage needed, she looked at the wrapper, "_Warning! Candy made entirely out of saw dust. No wonder he wasn't eating this thing."_ The fox thought and was kind of pissed about eating sawdust.

Getting tired of the scream, she turned into a human and then turned to Gaara and the mole and pointed a remote at them. Turning the mole into a human as well; however since Gaara had been holding her up, the sudden change of weight startled him and she ended up sitting on him.

"Hey Gwen get your fat ass off Gaara, before he dies," said the girl that used to be a fox. Gwen got up off Gaara so he could breath since her butt pretty much landed on his face, Gwen turned to the other and punched her in the gut.

"Shut the fuck up Krit," said Gwen getting ready to punch her again. Suddenly Gaara shot up from where he was lying and pointed at them.

"I remember you!" he yelled. "You two kidnapped me and several others and did horrible things to us. I thought that it was a dream, a horrible dream," he grabbed his head and about dropped to his knees as he said this last sentence. Krit and Gwen just stared at each other for a moment.

Gwen was the first one to speak, "Krit mind explaining?"  
"Um ok, well we haven't been gone for more then a year in our time but since we were jumping dimensions a lot more time must have pasted here. Hey Gaara how old are you? Last time we were here you were 12." Slowly Gaara got up and looked at them and gave them an answer, "I'm 17."

"17! That 5 years!" Gwen yelled as she turned to Krit. "What about our own dimension! Have we been gone from there 5 years as well!"

"Not likely, the time is a lot different here then there, hundreds of years could go by here and no time would go by for us. Besides we are wanted by the FBI and the CIA why the fuck do we want to go back." finished Krit as she walked over to Gaara.

"Hmmm good point," said Gwen going to where Krit was, who was trying to shake Gaara out of his little trance.

"Looks like you could use a vacation Gaara. You have been working to hard, lets go to Konaha, pick up a few people and then go on vacation; doesn't that sound nice." said Krit making Gaara look at her by grabbing his face and making him slowly nod his head yes.

"Good then it is decided! Leave a note to your siblings that you are going on vacation," said Gwen happily. Gaara didn't really know what to do, but a vacation away from his work did sound nice. So he wrote a note and left it on his desk for his siblings to find later. Krit then opened a portal for them to go through. When they stepped through the other side of the portal they landed in a pile of snow.

"Holy shit," stuttered Gaara who being from the desert wasn't used to the cold at all. Krit didn't seem to happy ether as her teeth chattered. Gwen on the other hand seemed very happy with herself. Glaring at her, Krit used the remote and got some warmer clothes for herself and Gaara. Gaara was given snow pants, a sweater, ear muffs, a scarf, and a beany; Krit just got a sweater and scarf.

"You guys are wimps," said Gwen when she noticed that they had bundled up. Krit flipped her off and used the remote again, this time bringing a mini-van out from no where.

"Ok there are seven seats including the driver and front passenger. Gwen your driving, and Gaara has the front passenger. Myself and two others can sit on the roof, and we can always make someone sit in the trunk space, in the back. So we have about 8 other places for people to sit," said Krit looking at Gwen and Gaara.

"Alright then we can split up and grab a few people, but how many can each of us grab?" said Gwen looking at Krit.

"You grab two, Gaara grabs two and I'll get the last four. Then we meet back here in an hour," with that everyone set out in a different direction.

Gwen and Gaara headed for town but soon split up when they hit a cross road. It started to snow as Gwen walked down the road, soon she saw someone just sitting on a park bench looking at the sky. Picking up a snow ball she lobbed it at him, hitting him right in the face.

"Hey doofus," she said. "You want to go on vacation?" he looked at her for a moment, as if he was trying to remember where he had seen her, though clearly unable to remember. Then he was about to yell at her for disturbing his sky watching but he got a mouth full of snow. "Don't even think about it, I have had enough yelling for today. Now come on, I know you don't like snow, its too "troublesome," she said and started walking away to go find someone else mainly Ino.

Sighing Skimaru decide to follower her, thinking what was the worst thing that could happen to him. Luckily he didn't really remember his last encounter with her and Krit, (which involved a leash, back ally surgery, arsine and a monkey). They started walking, Gwen told him who they where looking for and what they where going to be doing, well she left out a lot of stuff. Soon they came to a flower shop, going inside they found Ino.

"Yo, Ino come on lets go," said Shikamaru trying to get her attention. Luckily she followed, but she was asking questions all the way back to the van, such as 'Who is this?' 'Are you dating?'(Gwen wanted to attack Ino for that one.) 'Where are we going?' and 'I'm cold."

Soon they were at the van, and luckily Gaara was already there with his two people. Those two being Hinata and Chouji.

"Hey Gaara, has Krit come back yet?" asked Gwen standing near him.

"No, but she had to find four people remember maybe it is just taking her longer." as he finished talking Krit came out of the trees with four "people."

"Hey everyone," she said happily. "Look who I found, Neji" who was being carried but someone else.

"What happened to Neji?" asked Shikamaru, as he looked at the man who was currently drooling a little.

"He didn't want to come at first, but I persuaded him," she said cheerfully, in reality she had beat the crap out of him before he came along very quietly. Then gestured towards the blonde man carrying him, "and this Deidara, isn't he nice to Neji." pointing to the other man next them she said, "this is Itachi he decided to come along as well."

"They are Akatsuki members!" yelled Ino.

"Yes, but there is to be no killing while we are all on vacation. That goes for them as well so don't worry about it, there nice. Anyway we should probably get going, lets go."

"Uh Krit, are you sure about your last 'friend'?" asked Gwen pointing to the tall figure in black robes holding a scythe with a skeletal hand. Checking her pulse quickly as Gwen remember her last meeting him on several occasions thanks to Krit.

"Oh him, he's an old poker buddy of mine. Work has gotten him kind of depressed so I thought he could use a little cheering up you know." Opening up the van she started making them get in. "Itachi you first, then how about you Hinata, in the back next to Itachi, and Reaper you take the last back spot. Shikamaru why don't you crawl back into the storage area, you can lie down and go to sleep." Shrugging Shikamaru climbed into the very back while Reaper was sitting down next to Hinata, who for some reason had gone very pale. "Ok Ino, Chouji take the last two seats behind the driver, and Deidara you, me and Neji go on the roof." with that they jumped up onto the roof. Gwen and Gaara got in as Krit and Deidara got Neji situated between them so he wouldn't fall.

"Ok Krit open the portal to where ever we are going," said Gwen sticking her head outside the window.

"Ok but Gwen, I can get us in the dimension but I don't think I can get us anywhere near the hotel, you will have to drive quite a ways to get there," Krit called out to Gwen from the roof.

"Whatever lets just go," with that Gwen pulled her head back into the car, rolled up the window and turned on the AC. Everyone in the car glared at her, "What? I'm hot."

"Its like 30 degrees in here!" complained Ino

"You people are babies," said Gwen as she turned the AC up higher. Then the portal opened in front of the vehicle and Gwen drove into the unknown.

As the van came out of the portal; it landed on a dirt road, surrounded by dead trees, scraggly bushes, and clumps of dead grass. Everyone looked out the windows, this isn't what they expected when they thought of a vacation. Gwen rolled down the window, hopping that it wouldn't crack from all the ice on the inside.

"Krit, ware are we? Are we in the right place?" asked Gwen as she looked up onto the roof.

"Yeah, this is the right way to the _Jigoku Hotel. _Don't worry you will know it when you see it," this last said with a bit of a laugh. Gwen cursed under her breath and started driving.

Even thought the outside was dusty and hot, the inside of the car was freezing, literally. The only twos breath you couldn't see was Gwen's and Reapers. Ino had frozen snot trickling down her face. Gaara was huddled up in his seat making sure that the AC wasn't pointed at him; however it might not have mattered seeing as the AC had frozen shut.

The top of the car was a very different story. It was hot, the sun was beating down on the metal making it hotter then a skillet. This for some reason didn't seem to bother Krit at all, Deidara and Neji were sweating a bit but they didn't complain. Though Neji had stolen Deidara's hat so that he wouldn't burn from the sun.

In the car Gwen was cursing the AC, "Damn AC," she said as she turned it off finally; everyone sighed, at this site. Gwen turned on the radio to kill the silence. In the back Hinata looked nervously up at Reaper, then realized he was staring at her. Squeaking a bit she looked at the ground; then slowly up at Itachi, who luckily wasn't looking at her, but at Reaper.

Reaper looked away and out the window, then seemed to "yawn" and try to put his arm around Hinata. This made her screech as she jumped into Itachi's lap, and bury her face in his chest. Itachi's personal bubble had just been popped, and he wasn't happy about it. He tired to get rid of her by pushing her off, but she just seemed to hold on even tighter; panicked a bit he started to thrash a bit and pull at her; while Reaper was also pulling on her.

The car started to tilt and Gwen could hear Krit, Deidara and Neji yell because of the shacking. Letting go of the wheel she turned around and yelled at them; Gaara grabbed the wheel and tried to steer. While Gwen yelled, "Get in your own fucking seats, and don't touch anyone!" Reaper let go, Hinata let go, and Itachi sighed in relief. Turning back around, Gwen took the wheel again and stepped on the gas.

"What the hell is going on in there!" yelled Deidara from the roof. All of them had gone from tilting to insane speeding, Gwen ignored them as she sped on.

"I think she is going on a power trip," whispered Neji.

"Don't let her hear. . ." Krit never got to finish her sentence because a knife came up through the roof near Neji. Along with a yell form Gwen that sounded like, "I can hear you!" This made all of them sit up on the roof in silence for a few minutes. Through hole that Gwen had made, they could hear Ino complaining. Soon they got tired of that and Deidara filled the hole up with clay so the annoying girl couldn't be herd.

"Hey Deidara, you can make bombs out of clay right?" asked Krit.

"Yeah."  
"Want to play a game?" Krit said with a smile.

"What kind of game?" asked Deidara who had also started to smile. Neji looked between the two of them, realizing that he was being left out.

"Hey Neji point to something random," said Krit turning to him. Still not really understanding he did what he was told anyway. He pointed to a big rock farther up the road. Then a little clay bird flew at it and exploded. Deidara and Krit started laughing, Neji didn't laugh he just sat there but he though _That was kind of neat, pointless but neat._

"MY TURN!" yelled Krit pointing to an old tree. There game continued on with Krit and Neji taking turns in picking items. In the car everyone was wondering what the hell was going on

"Their entertaining themselves. I'm just glad they aren't being annoying, LIKE SOMONE IN THIS CAR I WONT MENTION!" Gwen said this last part glaring at Ino.

"Are you saying that I am annoying! I am not annoying, I'm *the reminder of this rant will be counted as white noise*" Everyone in the car except for Ino noticed how hard Gwen was gripping the steering wheel. Eventually she slammed on the brakes, making everyone be thrown forward violently; those on top of the car were now on the hood.

"If you say one more thing for the rest of the car ride I will slit your throat and throw you outside for the buzzards!" said Gwen in a dangerous tone. Everyone was quiet, thinking any sudden movements may make she snap. Krit, Neji, and Deidara got up and back on top of the car. The radio had been turned up so that no one on the inside was talking; however the game on the roof was still being played, but they were getting tired of blowing up trees.

"We need something more entertaining to blow up," said Deidara looking bored.

"How about that," said Neji while pointing to a car on the side of the road. Deidara laughed and exploded it; this was much more entertaining seeing as there seemed to be two exploitations as the fire hit the gas tank. Unfortunately there wasn't anything else like this one the road for them to blow up. The three of them were starting to fall asleep when they herd a horrid yell.

"WHO BLEW UP ME CARER!" the yell was really load. Seeing as they had passed the car quiet awhile ago they didn't expect anyone to catch them.

"They will never catch up to us anyway," said Krit. Looking at the them nervously. Neji was still looking behind them and then suddenly gasped. Krit turned to see a little dot getting closer by the second. Soon she could see man in a dress and white shirt running towards them. He pulled something out from behind him, and shot a missile at them.

"GWEN STEP ON IT! THERE IS A CRAZY GUY COMING AFTER US!" yelled Deidara trying to get Gwen's attention. Gwen looked in the behind them and saw a very lard man with a white shirt and kilt running towards them. He had more ammo then Rambo and was aiming a rocket launcher at them.

"Deidara! Throw something at him!" yelled Gwen, as she swerved to miss a rocket. Deidara did, making a huge explosion, and for a moment there wasn't any movement; but then the man came running through the smoke. Pulling out an Uzi the Scotsman shot one of the back tires, making Gwen loose control and flip the van. Krit, Neji, and Deidara jumped off right before the van rolled.

The Scotsman walked up to the three of them and Gwen crawled out of the car. She hopped that he would just kill them and leave her alone. Krit and the Scotsman were starring at each other for a very long time, when suddenly Krit yelled out, "UNCLE ANGERY SCOTSMAN!"

"Lass," he bellowed as he tried to give her a hug but because of his ser size he picked up Neji and Deidara as well. Gwen could hear crunching sounds, and it kind of made her sick.

"Can you. . .turn the van. . . back to normal," gasped Krit tiring to get free of the mans grasp. The man nodded and dropped them and walked over to the van and turned it back to normal with on hand. Gwen walked over to ware Krit was laying face down in the dirt.

"I though you were Irish, or French or something."

"I'm Scotts Irish, French, Scandinavian, but I am mostly Cherokee. Just don't tell him know that, he is the craziest relative I have." Hearing this form Krit, Gwen got scared.

The man had turned the van back over and everyone one inside seemed to be fine, just a little shaken; now he was looking at Neji and Deidara with curiosity, then turned to Krit and said, "So wer are all yah lasses headen?"

"Hey were boys!" yelled Deidara pointing to himself and Neji. This seemed to shock Angry Scotsman, as he looked at them again.

"Yer lads?"  
"Yes," replied Neji who seemed to be very annoyed.

Angry Scotsman turned to Krit and Gwen and yelled at them, "No one from me clan is gonna merry as girly man!"

"I'm not even related. . ." Gwen couldn't finish her sentence seeing as Krit elbowed her in the stomach and glared at her.

"Of course we aren't, there just friends of ours, RIGHT GWEN." said Krit giving Gwen the, just play along so the crazy man with a gun doesn't kill us, look. Catching on Gwen just nodded and smiled.

"Kay, now I'd best be gett'in back to me car, left it fer some reason." as he pondered that everyone started to inch towards the van. Gwen got back into the car as the other three were climbing onto the top.

"Well have fun with that, you know ware to find us anyway, good bye Uncle Angry Scotsman," said Krit as Gwen started the engine, and drove off as the Scotsman waved them good bye.

Once out of ear shot Neji asked Krit a question, "he doesn't really know ware to find us right?"

"I really hope he doesn't," replied Krit. The three of them had stopped playing there game seeing as last time they played a crazy loon with a gun cam after them, so they decided to go to sleep; seeing as the sun was setting.

Everyone in the car was also getting drowsy, (except for Gwen and Gaara) and soon fell asleep as well.

Chapter 2

Itachi woke to find that Hinata was lying on him, and the Reaper was lying on her. Why do people always fall asleep on me, though Itachi as he looked at his current annoyance. Looking outside he say sand, lots of sand, and for a second he thought the red head must have done something; but when he turned to him to complain he wasn't there. Looking to the drivers seat it was also unoccupied.

Pushing Hinata and the Reaper off of him he climbed out of the car to look for the other one that was on top of the car. Neji was the only one on top of the car, Deidara and Krit were gone. Neji noticed and Itachi and the confusion that came from him, "Krit, Gwen, Gaara, and Deidara have gone ahead. Krit left me in charge," Neji said this last part with a lot of smugness.

Itachi glared at him, and glared until his smugness withered and died. "I am in charge," stated Itachi, leaving no room for question. "You will tell me ware we are supposed to go," he demanded.

"She said go North until you find a hobbit hole," said Neji trying to avoid looking at Itachi. Then added, "and the van ran out of gas, but Gwen still wants the car, so we have to drag it to the hobbit hole."

"Fine by me, I'm not pulling it," said Itachi

"I'm not either," stated Neji, Itachi glared at him again, but this time didn't back down. "Krit said that if you made me pull you would suffer a fate worst then what she did to Orochimaru." Itachi didn't know what had happened to Orochimaru but it was most likely something gross.

"Whatever," was all Itachi said as he went back into the car and pulled, Ino, Chouji, Hinata, and Reaper out of the car. "You four are going to pull this van north until I say you can stop."

Ino was the most upset out of all of them, "How the hell are we going to do that?!" she yelled.

Neji then held up some ropes that were fashioned into harnesses, "Krit said to use these," he said cheerfully. Ino just glared at him and turned to Chouji, who just shrugged and gave the, I rather not argue with the people that could easily kick my ass, look to Ino. The two of them started to put the harnesses on, and soon Hinata followed there example; but she was stopped by Reaper who took it from her and shook hi s head. Then he picked her up and put her on top of the car.

"Hey why does she get to sit on top?!" complained Ino.

"Because she is a lady," said Reaper is deep voice.

"And I'm not!" continued Ino

"No, no your not," replied Reaper getting into position in front of the van. Chouji and a very pissed off Ino followed him.

Then all of a sudden they herd Neji yell, "Mush!" as he cracked a whip over there heads. Itachi was very amused by this for some reason, as he sat next to Neji on top of the van. Hinata was sitting behind them and just trying to be as quiet as she could.

The three below started to pull as hard as they could, and in fact they started to move the van. But after too hours of pulling and only getting about too miles, everyone on top of the car was getting annoyed.

"Can't you go any faster," complained Itachi.

"MUSH!" yelled Neji again hitting Ino in the back with it.

Ino then snapped, grabbed the whip from Neji and started yelling at him, "If you hit me one more time with this damn thing, I will make you pull all of us using your own intestine after I rip them out!" This shut Neji up and he decided to go and visit his cousin.

Suddenly Reaper looked up, and made Ino and Chouji get into the van as he jumped into the divers sheet and started hocking the horn, this of course confused everyone. Then the sky darkened and skeletal horses came out of the ground and started pulling the van, (at a much faster rate then it had been going).

Soon they could see a large rock rising up from the distance, they figured that is what they were supposed to go to and kept going. When they got to it to the rock they saw a little door. Figuring this was it, Reaper made his horses disappear in a puff of smoke, and got out of the drivers sheet.

"A hobbit door?" said Hinata rather confused; as Ino, and Chouji also got out of the van.

"This is what she must of meant by finding a hobbit hole," said Neji looking at the door. All of a sudden the door opened and Gwen and Krit came out.

"Took you long enough!" said Gwen, looking annoyed.

"Yep this is the Hotel, the door doesn't look like much but the inside is really big, so unpack and lets go," said Krit excitedly bouncing up and down.

"We didn't bring anything," said Chouji.

"Yes you did," said Krit running to the back of the van. When she opened it a bunch of luggage fell out, each of bag had a name on it. Reaching farther into the back, Krit pulled out a sleeping Shikamaru, who was holding his bag in one hand. "Hey wake up, you have been sleeping for a day and a half," said Krit shaking him a bit and throwing him on the ground.

"YOU WERE IN THERE THE WHOLE TIME!" Ino yelled at Shikamaru. Who now couldn't pretend to be asleep anymore and just nodded.

"Damn you're a sound sleeper," said Chouji helping his friend up.

"This is all nice with you guys discovering your long lost friend in the back of a mini van but, CAN WE GET OUT OF THE HIS HEAT ALREADY!" yelled Gwen who was very cranky from the heat. Everyone got the idea and picked up there bags, (that they had no idea how they got there), Hinata the only one not carrying a bag, simply because Reaper wouldn't let her. Soon everyone had walked into the hotel.

They were then greeted by the hotel hostess, and they all felt a shiver run down there spine.

"Yo, Kira! Nice outfit, you look like a freak with you being all normal and not emo," laughed Krit pointing at Kira.

"Hey Krit, fuck you," with that Kira flipped her off and turned back to the others. "The bell boy will take you things up." All of a sudden Sasuke showed up in a bell boy out fit, looking very humiliated. His pants were way to tight for him showing off 'everything'. "This is Sasuke your bell boy, aka eye candy," she then turned to him and said, "turn around slowly." He complied very slowly and eventually was once again facing them. Kira was overjoyed. "Once your settled in, please come to the dinning hall." As she was about to walk away, Orochimaru walked up to her, only he was wearing a janitor uniform.

"I don't want to clean things," he complained.

"Didn't I tell you to fix the toilet."  
"Its clogged."

"Well no shit Sherlock, you have a tongue like a _snake_, GO FIX NOW!" she yelled pointing off into a different direction. He seemed very sad, but no one really cared.

They followed Sasuke through the main hall to there rooms. Noticing for the first time that there was a wall that wasn't really a wall at all; but a giant aquarium. It looked like an ocean, with the reef, fish and other sea life swimming around. Then they saw that the tank was also an elaborate tube system. Instead of pillars in the hotel there was tubes of water, that the fish could swim through. Looking up they would occasionally see a tube just jetting out of a wall and going into another one.

"It kind of reminds me of a haba trail for hamsters," said Gwen looking at the tubes. Everyone was then distracted by a strange sound; it was Itachi, laughing. Shocked they turned to see what he was laughing at. He was pointing to the big wall tank and they saw it; Kisame was swimming around eating fish, wearing nothing but a pair of shorts.

While everyone was laughing at Kisame they didn't notice a certain someone inching away from them. When they had final stopped laughing, Neji was the first to notice and said, "Hey ware is Krit?" Everyone started looking around for her, but she was no ware to be seen.

"Let me just take you to your room, then you can look for her," said Sasuke. Who was irritated about having to wait, among other things. As they walked they noticed that they never seemed to leave the wall tank.

"Hey Sasuke why haven't we left the tank yet?" asked Ino.

"You have to walk around it to get to the rooms. The damn thing is really in the middle of a much bigger room. This place is bigger then a town, so try not to get lost. The place ware we are going is the rooms, casino, pool, (which isn't part of the ocean tank), garden, and dinning hall. In the opposite direction there is employee rooms, laundry room, boiler room, control room, and laboratory. Then if you go straight instead of left like we did, there is a ball room, theater, grave yard, and suicide room,(complete with consolers there to help you decide which death is right for you)," as Sasuke finished everyone was silent. More then one of those things was a little creepy.

Suddenly a blur hit Kisame, (who had been following them). Everyone turned to see that it was, Krit who had hit him. She was now wearing shots and a tank top, and she feet and hands were now webbed; gills were only slightly visible, but what everyone was really looking at was the harpoon she was holding.

No one could hear Kisame scream, but he bubbles kind of gave it away. He was swimming away from Krit, who had taken sport in stabbing him only slightly with the harpoon. Kisame swam to them, and started beating on the glass. Then turned and saw Krit, coming. Swimming as fast as he could toward one of the few pillars that wasn't filled with water. For a moment no one could see him then the pillar opened and Kisame came out of it, followed by a little bit of water.

"You know your supposed to let the water drain before you come out," said Sasuke looking at the water on the floor.

"It was a do or die situation!" said Kisame looking behind him and saw Krit still floating in the tank. She then pointed to herself, then her eyes and finally Kisame, and swam away; slinging the harpoon over her shoulder as she went.

Suddenly there was a bang and a puff of black smoke, Kira came out of it and started yelling at Kisame, "You aren't allowed to leave the tank yet! Why are you out." Kisame seemed to shrink, before the scary women in front of him.

"Kira," said Gwen to get her attention. Then she continued, "Krit is here remember, she is territorial of the tank. Remember what happened last time you had a human fish thing in there."

"No I don't because I could never find the guy and ask him," said Kira as she looked at the tank. Krit was happily eating a fish. Noticing they were looking at her, she swam up to them and tried to offer them the half eaten fish through the glass. Gwen and Kira looked like they were going to throw up, everyone else just seemed to be nauseated. Krit just shrugged and swam off again.

"She will come out eventually, probably for dinner, which is in about an hour, so go get settled in," with that Kira disappeared in another poof of black smoke. Sasuke continued to take them down the hall, as everyone tried to ignore Krit following them. Eventual they made a right and went away from the aquarium.

"I think we got rid of her," said Chouji noticing that since the tank was gone so was Krit. However his hopes were killed as they noticed that Krit was following them thought the water filled pillars now. This made everyone slightly uneasy for some reason.

"Ok here are your rooms, each of you have your own room. Gaara you have the first room, then its Gwen's, Reaper, Hinata, Itachi, Neji, Krit, Shikamaru, Chouji, and Ino is the last room. Come to the main hall after your done unpacking; if you get lost, well that sucks to be you. Don't worry though everyone ends up in Suicide Hall, and I don't think I need to explain anymore." With that Sasuke walked off and left them. Everyone was a little uneasy. Slowly everyone, went to there own room.

Gwen went into her room and looked around, it was a nice room, to nice, to the point of it being creepy. She went over to a giant mirror of the wall; took out a Sharpie and wrote "Gwen wasn't here" happy with herself she continued to took around the room and saw something really weird. A little red button that said _ 'you know you want to'_

Gaara had a similar room. He was still really uneasy but at least things hadn't gotten to weird. _Maybe, I really will just have a normal vacation_, thought Gaara as he continued to look around. However his thoughts were interrupted by a strange sound coming from the wall. Turning around he saw the wall swing around and, Gwen was in his room. She wasn't facing him, but he could tell that she was disappointed with something.

"The button didn't do anything," she said as she turned around. Then she saw Gaara. They just stared at each other until Gwen said, "Oh this is awkward."

Reapers room was one of the few that was different. The decorations were the same however everything was black, (while most others were a cream white color). He had wanted to share a room with a certain someone; however he didn't know how she would have reacted to it. That and she was right next door anyway. Reaper walked over to the wall and hugged it. The he noticed a vent, getting a chair he climbed up to the vent and looked in.

Hinata, was glad to be away from everyone, they were kind of creepy, especially one in particular. Calming herself down she looked around the room. It like all the other was nice, white room. It made her happy that she had such a pretty room. However she suddenly felt a chill go up her spine, like when someone is watching you. Turning to look at the wall she studied it, there was a mirror, a couple of landscape pictures, and a vent.

Itachi entered his room, and didn't really care about anything that was in it. However he noticed that the door seemed to be the only way into the room and that put him at ease a little. Now knowing that it would be hard for someone to sneak up on him he started to look around. The room wasn't his favorite color but he guessed he could live with it. Suddenly he herd a scream that came from next door, and several crashes; his door was flung open. The girl that had invaded his personal space was running towards him. However he figured that she wasn't attacking, she was running away from something.

She ran behind him and hid, clinging to his cloak. Itachi glared at the girl then turned to the door to see what it was that had made her freak out again. Death appeared in the door way. He waved a little wave that made Hinata start to scream again. _The girl is like a banshee_, though Itachi.

"What the hell is going on!" yelled Itachi glaring at both of them.

"Are you trying to steal my girlfriend!" accused Reaper pointing at Itachi. This made Itachi do a double take, he wasn't stealing anything; especially not from Reaper he respected him.

"I am not your girlfriend!!" screamed Hinata, her voice changing octaves every word she yelled.

"I didn't take anyth . . ." Itachi started to say but was cut off but Reaper.

"LIER!! I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!!" yelled Reaper. It took Itachi a few moment to realize what had just happened then he was horrified. Turning to face Hinata, Itachi yelled.

"Look what you have done!! You have ruined my chances with Reaper," he realized what he had said when Hinata gave him a confused look. Itachi turned to Reaper, who had become very still. Then slowly backed up into the hall and made slow sideways steps away from the door frame. When he hasn't in Itachi's sight he ran like hell.

Just as he started running Itachi ran after and yelled, "What I didn't mean it like that!! I mean that she ruined my chance to be your FRIEND, nothing else I swear!" however reaper didn't hear most of it, because he had made it back to his room. Frustrated and wanting to kill something Itachi turned to Hinata; however he didn't see her. She was gone.

Ino, liked her room a lot. She wandered around it for a while and then jumped on the bed to test the softness. The room was perfect, but something was wrong, looking up from the bed she looked around the room. Then she saw it, on a shelf across the room was a shrunken head. It was by far they scariest little thing that she had ever seen in her life. Getting up slowly she walked over to it. Its mouth was sewn shut, _that thing is horrid_ she though as she looked at it.

The more she looked at it the more it seemed to be sleeping; there was a small pare of scissors next to it. Without really thinking she picked up the scissors and started to snip the little strings that kept the mouth shut. She felt better when she had finished for some reason. Turning around she went for the door, but stopped as she turned as she herd a scratchy voice say, "thank you"

Chouji wasn't very interested in his room at all, He could tell that there wasn't any food in it, and he was very hungry. He hadn't eaten in over a day and ½ ; a personal record for him. So after giving his room a quick look he simple left the room and went to find the dining hall.

Shikamaru didn't even really look at the room. He just went for the bed to lie down. He just sat there for a bit; not being very tired form his 24 hour nap from earlier. However he really didn't want to go and find the dining hall either. Sighing he was about to get up and go find the dinning hall when he herd a rattling sound. Sitting up suddenly he looked around.

A screeching sound came form the mirror, and was followed by another rattle. The screeching was like when someone ran there nails across a chalk board, or glass. He walked over to the mirror and inspected it, but couldn't see anything. The noises had stopped and he decided just to get out of the room al together.

Neji was glad that he had some ware to be by himself, the room was rather a good size so he wasn't cramped. Taking a deep breath he relaxed, taking in a moment to himself and away form the people that had brought him here. Suddenly he herd a bump noise, looking up around the room to try and figure out ware it had some from. It came again, from under the rug. Neji stared at the rug and considered weather or not to lift the rug or not, but his body had already decided as he reached for the corner of the rug.

Krit was still swimming around in the water when she saw everyone go into there rooms. She wondered if the pipes went into the rooms. Following the water system, she saw Gwen in her room, she walked up to ware Krit was. Krit waved at her but Gwen didn't respond. Instead she wrote on the glass with a sharpie and walked over to the wall, As Krit read what she had written hen looked up and noticed that she was gone. Confused Krit swam on.

She saw a black room and Reaper running our of it, _Why did he get the black room_, Krit mentally pouted as she swam on. There was another cream room but it was empty, _this is supposed to be Hinata's room,_ though Krit as she looked in the room. The next room she saw Itachi, Hinata and Reaper talking, but she couldn't really hear what they were saying to well, but the sound Hinata was making was annoying so se left.

Suddenly the tunnel went down instead of there being a "window" looking across from her she saw that there was another tunnel in front of her, _I don't want to go down, _ she thought as she went forward. There she saw Shikamaru being lazy, _what happed to Neji's room, _Kritthough as she swam on past her own room and onto the next.

Getting tired of people not noticing her she punched the "window." This made Shikamaru Jump up and look at her, she waved but he continued to look confused. Running her nails across it to watch his reaction she realized something, _it's a two way window! They can't see me!_

Her curiosity got the better of her and she went back and went down to see why Neji's room didn't have a window. Looking around she noticed something. A medium size section on the roof of the tunnel looked very different then the rest. It looked like a pattern, _Like the rugs in the rooms. Wait this is Neji's room!_ There was a little handle and she opened it a bit and realized that he would have to move the rug. She closed it and started to hit the glass.

As the rug was removed Neji could see Krit waving at him, he was about to drop the rug again but a the glass came up like a door and Krit climbed out, making the gills disappear, she took in a deep breath.

"Hey Neji, lets go to the dinning hall I'm hungry," Krit said enthusiastically.

Chapter 3

Neji and Krit weren't the first to the dinning fall, Gwen and Gaara were already there. They were just sitting there, staring at each other. Krit and Neji walked up and took there seats. Krit decided to talk first seeing as they were obviously not going to.

"So, do you guys like your rooms?" this didn't really seem to help, because they just sat there, only now they were staring at Krit. Gaara was the first to say something.

"They are interesting" he said carefully.

"If you mean by interesting you mean, extremely freakish," said Gwen. She seemed to be disturbed.

"Well yeah, this place isn't exactly normal," said Krit as if it was obvious. This pissed off Gwen and she hit Krit, which made them start a mild fight. While they were doing that Neji leaned toward Gaara and whispered.

"She came out of an opening in the floor under the rug in my room."  
"A wall flipped around and Gwen was then in my room," Gaara replied.

"This place is like a "fun" house from hell," said Neji.

"What are you guys whispering about?" asked Krit who had stopped fighting with Gwen, when she noticed there conversation. They both looked up and tried to smile like they hadn't been doing anything. This didn't really fool either of them but they noticed that some more people were coming into the dinning hall.

Walking into the hall was Chouji. It had taken him longer then he had though to find it. He sat down and realized that there wasn't any food.

"Why isn't there any food"  
"Once everyone gets here they will bring it to us," said Gwen, as she played with one of her forks. The other were doing similar things. Krit making the Eifel tower out of the individual cream packets. Neji unfolding and refolding the napkin. Gaara pouring sugar into his water, He had a more sugar then water. Sighing Chouji sat down and began to study the silver ware. Picking up a fork he said, "ware are the chopsticks?"

"We don't have any," said Krit in a very bored tone. At this silence fell until Shikamaru came in. He seemed a little uneasy when he sat down.

"Hey, you ok you don't look so good," said Chouji looking at Shikamaru.

"I'm fine, but I think there is something in the mirror in my room." At this Neji glared at Krit, who just smiled and pretended not to notice. Shikamaru didn't notice this transaction and just sat there staring at his empty plate.

Suddenly they herd a scream, and Hinata came running into the dinning hall, and tried to hide under Shikamaru's chair. Reaper came running, waving his arms in the air and jumping up and down. Itachi was following him, only slower and looking rather annoyed.

"That was interesting to watch," said Gwen mostly referring to Reaper. They waited for awhile before Chouji shouted, "Why can't we eat!"

"Ino still isn't here," said Shikamaru looking around.

"Neither is Deidara," said Itachi. Suddenly realizing that Deidara had been gone for a long time.

"Yeah what ever happened to him?" asked Hinata. Slowly everyone turned to Krit.

"Why are you all looking at me like that?" asked Krit inching away from them.

"Whenever someone is missing it is most likely your fault," said Neji.

"I feel hurt," pouted Krit. "So you think that whenever something goes wrong it is my fault?"

"Pretty much," said Gwen. Krit was about to say something back but Ino had finally come into the room. The only thing out of the ordinary was the little black bag that she was caring. Chouji and Shikamaru glanced at it and then back at Krit. Who was also looking at it, then suddenly her face changed into that of panic. She turned to Gwen and they had a silent conversation. In the end Gwen also seemed concerned.

Neji, and Gaara saw this and they didn't know whether to ask later or just try to stay as far away from Ino as humanly possible. They both decided on the second.

**Meanwhile in Suna **

Temari and Kankuro walked into Gaara's office to find a huge mess. There was a note on the table that said: **I Gaara have decided to go on vacation, don't try to find me. **

"Gaara has been kidnapped!" yelled Temari upon reading the note.

"What makes you say that," said Kankuro, but seeing the glare he added. "Besides the obviously not his handwriting, suddenness of his absence and the mess in the office."

"I am going to go look for him, you start by looking for clues in his office and while your at it clean it up." With that she ran out of the room.

Kankuro called after her, "Oh I see how it is!" He grumbled as he started to pick up the papers off the floor. As he was behind the desk a black and purple hole, about the size of a large pizza appeared. This put Kankuro on the alert, then a bald red bearded man with a pirate hat, came out of the hole. His head, and neck were the only thing that came through, because they were the only things that would fit, seeing as the man was extremely large.

He looked around and then said to Kankuro, "Hey laddy, I knoz ware yer brother be arrr."

"Ummm," but Kankuro didn't get to finish his sentence, because a huge arm came out of the floor and pulled him under.

**Back at the Hotel **

Everyone was getting impatient, but the waiter finally came. However when they saw there waiter almost everyone started laughing when he said.

"Hello I am Tobi and I will be your waiter." He looked like he might cry when everyone started laughing. Krit went over and gave him a hug.

"Stop laughing at Tobi, Tobi is a good boy." This made Tobi very happy.

"Finally someone loves me!!" shouted Tobi as he tried to hug Krit. Krit however tripped him.

"I never said I loved you! Try to hug me again and I'll rip your throat out with my bare hands." With that she sat back down and acted like nothing was wrong. After a while of wimpering on the floor he got up and asked for there orders.

"I want Tacos!" said Gwen punching the table.

"We don't have Tacos."

"Chicken nuggets?"  
"No, we don't have any processed food, everything is uncooked and all natural," replied Tobi.

"So what is there?" asked Gaara, looking annoyed.

"There is any fruit or veggie you can think of, nuts, and there is steak and fish but we don't cook anything here." everyone unhappy.

"Bring the fruit and veggie platter," said Krit. "that way everyone can just pick and eat off of it, but I also want a steak. I prefer it raw anyway," Krit finished smiling at Tobi.

Gwen turned to Krit and said, "your sick, and twisted."

**Meanwhile**

Kankuro woke up in the bottom of a boat. He could see the sails but soon noticed the lack of movement. Boats usually move even if they are docked. Sitting up he saw why the boat wasn't moving. He was in the middle of the desert, in a pirate ship.

"Arg! Yee is finally awake!" said a huge pirate that jumped in front of him. It was the same guy that had pulled him through the floor. He was dressed in a black pirate coat, and his boots seemed to be bigger than Kankuro's torso. "By da way! What be yer name?"

Hesitating he said, "Kankuro."

This seemed to stop the man as he tried to say it, "Ka ka kan Coo Cuuu. . . .Arrrrg?"

"It isn't that hard to say," he said irritated.

"I'll just call yee COCONUT!" said the pirate happily. Kankuro or Coconut didn't seem to be very happy.

"Well what is your name?" he asked, still irritated at him.

"I be Captain Angry Pirate! Argggg!" He said as he went to the helm. "Alright Coconut be the look out for enemy ships," said the Captain as he threw a spyglass at Kankuro. He walked to the front of the ship and looked around.

"Ummm, were not even moving."

"ARRRRRG," then he pressed a button from someware and four wheels came out of the bottom of the ship. "SHIP BUGGY!!!" screamed the pirate as he slammed on the gas peddle. They went flying through the sand, Kankuro stopped trying to look around and decided to just hang on for dear life as the Captian laughed insanely.

Then a huge rock came into view, they were going straight for it. "Hey were going to hit that!" yelled Kankuro.

"What side bet on?!"

"Left!"  
"What?"

"Left!

"I don't speak stupid! What side is this "left" you speak of?" At this remark Kankuro was wondering he would survive if he jumped.

They did hit the rock but not straight on so they were just thrown off, but for some reason when they hit the ground, the ship exploded.

"Arrrrr! Why did yee not tells me it be on the port side?!"

"The what?" He was very confused by now.

"Never yee mind. We'll just walk," and so they started walking.

_5 hours later_

Kankuro was from the desert, but that didn't mean he took 5 hour walks in the middle of the day without water. They had come to what seemed to be another huge rock and he collapsed next to it.

"What yee be doin on the ground lad?" asked Captain Angry Pirate.

"I'm tired, thirsty, and hot."

"Well that be no reason to fall on the ground, come of follow arrrg." Instead of trying to follow, Kankuro grabbed his boot laces and let the man drag him. 5 feet away from ware he had fallen they came to a door. He got up when he saw it, and was about to knock but was pulled back by the captain. He shook his head, and slowly opened the door, and snuck in. Kankuro followed but before he did he noticed something. He saw the wrecked boat on the side of the rock. They had been 20 feet from the door they were at now. Kankuro would have strangled the man, if his neck wasn't as thick as he was.

**Meanwhile **

"Dinner" was served. It was just a bunch of fruit on a huge platter, with salad on the bottom. Then Krit had a chunk of raw meat on a plate. She started to eat that right away, everyone else watched for a moment then started to pick things off of the platter. Gwen just sat there and glared at the platter.

"Why are you staring at it?" asked Gaara, after eating an strawberry.

"Its mocking me," she replied, then she got Tobi's attention. "Isn't there any bread?"

"No, bread is evil," he said this in a trance voice.

She turned to Krit, who had finished her meat and was now eating grapes. "YOU!!" she yelled pointing a fork at Krit. This not only got Krit's attention, but everyone else's at the table as well.

"Yes?" Krit replied nervously watching the fork.

"You fucked with there head so they would only serve things that you eat!" Gwen accused Krit.

Krit shrugged before answering, "Yeah so what if I did. I can't have a lot of things, and if everyone was eating toast I would want some. How could you be so selfish," Krit had started to cry, but Gwen knew better, she was faking.

Everyone else at the table didn't really seem to think so though. Gaara looked at Neji, expecting him to do something. He just looked back and looked extremely lost on this matter. Everyone else just watched, they all wanted to see what would happen next.

Gwen noticed this as well, but instead of backing off, she tackled Krit, but Krit's run and hide senses are very acute. So Gwen missed her as she went under the table. Gwen had planned on stabbing Krit but she only landed on the other side of the chair, only she didn't get up.

Gaara was about to go and check on her but he was stopped, "she is just throwing a tantrum leave her there!" yelled Krit peaking out form Itachi's coat.

"WHEN THE HELL DID YOU GET THERE!" yelled Itachi just noticing that Krit was sitting in his lap.

"Your coat is big enough for me to hide in so I hid in it." Krit said as if it was the logical explanation.

"Why not go and sit on Neji's lap!" Itachi said through clenched teeth.

"Dude, he's a ninja! I couldn't get into his lap without him knowing."

"Are you suggesting that I'm not a ninja?!" Itachi yelled into his coat, ware Krit still resided.

"Not at all, but you were the only one no paying attention," Krit smiled as she said this. Itachi was seriously considering killing her, but stopped because she was the only one that could get him back. He would get home, then kill her. However for now he just wanted her off of him. "You know for being so cold hearted you're the warmest one here," said Krit giving him a hug. Itachi's decision changed rather quickly, as he lunged after her. It looked like an explosion happened in his coat. Literally, with fire and everything, Itachi was sitting alone with the charred remains of his coat.

"Ware did she go!" yelled Itachi looking around for Krit.

"I think you incinerated her," said Hinata, looking around.

"No I would of gotten a call if she had died," said Reaper looking at his cell phone. As they were discussing that, Ino, Shikamaru, and Chouji saw Krit in one of the water pliers making faces behind Itachi.

Soon everyone started eating again and everything seemed fine. Now that neither Krit nor Gwen was there to bother them. Gaara looked over at Gwen every now and then. She hadn't moved and he though he saw blood pooling from her, but he didn't want to go over there for some reason.

Suddenly, the song, _Were All Going To Hell_ started to play. Looking down Reaper answered his phone. Then he stood up and said, "I'll be right back, got some business to attended to. No one asked any questions and simply kept eating and chatting among themselves. Gaara chose this moment to look at Gwen but he got a surprise.

Reaper was standing over her, he turned her over and he saw that the fork was sticking out of her neck, blood every ware. She had bled to death on the floor while they were having dinner. Reaper pulled the fork out of her neck and tossed it to the side, then made another call on his cell and a little ball of light appeared in front of him. He tried to put it into Gwen, but the little light didn't seem to want to go. Grabbing it he tried to jam it into her but it had other plans.

Instead it pulled him up into the air and flung him around, trying to get him to let go. Grabbing a pillar with his legs he pulled a chain out of his rode and shackled the light and summoned an anvil, which he tied the light to and dropped it next to Gwen. The lgith was still pulling as the chain desperately, but Reaper had gotten down and pulled out a hammer and hit the little light. Then it fell into Gwen, who instantly healed and sat up and looked very pissed off and sat back in her chair.

Gaara turned to Neji, who had been talking to Shikamaru and said, "Was I the only one at the table that saw that?"

"Saw what?" said Neji looking confused.

**Meanwhile **

Kankuro walked into the building but couldn't see the pirate. Suddenly a hug hand grabbed him and pulled him into a room. He knew who had done it and was about to yell at him but he stopped himself. It was obviously the same guy but now he was wearing a suit and sun glasses.

"I am Agent Angry! Welcome Agent Coconut." the man said with no hint of any accent.

"What the fu. . ." but he was cut off by the once Pirate, who was handing him some clothes.

"This is your new uniform," he said handing him exactly the same thing, only in his size. "An wash that makeup off your face! We can't have that in the Agency!" He yelled while throwing him into a bathroom. Kankuro changed, washed his face and came out of the bathroom. He felt very weird.

"What "agency" do "we" work for?" asked Kankuro.

"We work for ILP!" said the "Agent."

"What the hell does that stand for?" asked Kankuro very annoyed with all of this.

"I like pickles!"

"I don't care that you like pickles! I want to know what the ILP stands for!" Kankuro yelled back. He seemed to be picking up a few habits from the large confused man.

"Never you mind! It will come in time. We need to rescue your brother! Or something horrible might happen to him, but we must be careful! This place is dangerous!" With that he pulled out a huge gun. "Lets go!"

"What about me?" asked Kankuro referring to the gun.

"What about you! Rookies don't get guns. You should be happy you have a suit as nice as mine, if it were me I would have made you ware something else. However I have to listen to the orders from above." With that said they went out the door and down the hall.

The agent was sneaking around very badly as he rolled and crawled all over the floor. He even tried to crawl around on the ceiling but fell down right after getting up there. Kankuro was embarrassed to be near him. He didn't know why but he didn't think that he was in any real danger. Maybe he would die of pure embarrassment.

As he was in his thoughts he didn't notice that the agent had stopped moving and was now on just lying on the floor. So he tripped over him and landed on the floor. And yelled at him, "Hey what are you doing?"

"Evil approaches," he whispered. Then he got up so fast and disappeared before Kankuro could get back up. He didn't know ware he had gone then he herd it. The door next to him opened. Revealing a girl about his age, he wondered if this was the "evil" that his "friend" had talked about.

He snapped out of his thoughts as she started to talk, "you must be the person Krit said would be coming," she said happily. He knew he had herd that name before but he didn't know ware. "She said I would have to get you some new clothes, and I guess she was right, you can't work in those" she said pointing to his suit. "Come on, I'll get you your new work clothes." with that she began to walk away. He decided that whatever it was he was going to be doing, it was probably better then what the crazy man had been doing. He might even find his brother if he followed her. So off he went, unaware that he was following Kira.

Chapter 4

Gwen got up and walked over to the table and asked, "who wants to explore the hotel with me?" Everyone was silent for a second but then Hinata raised her hand and Gaara and Neji followed suit. Everyone else acted like nothing was going on.

"So were are we going?" asked Hinata as she followed the others.

"Sasuke said that there was a casino, I want to find it," replied Gwen.

"What do have a gambling problem?" asked Neji giving her a cocky smile.

"No, I am just looking for Krit." Gwen said as she walked on, no one said anything until after they got to the doors that lead to the casino. When they walked in they saw Kazuku dealing out cards to Deidara, Tobi, and Kabuto. "Hey do any of you know ware Krit is?" asked Gwen once they noticed them. They were about to answer but someone walked up in a waitress outfit and handed drinks to the guys at the table.

". . .Kankuro?" Gaara choked out before going into a fit of uncontrollable laughter. Kankuro didn't seem to be that amused as he watched his little brother and his friends laughing.

Just then a very large man in a suit of armor busted through the wall and yelled, "I am Sir Angry! I am here to save the princess!" Kankuro hid behind a potted plant when he saw him. "I must fight the dragon," with that the knight ran over to the potted plant and started to punch it, but it grabbed his arm and started to bite it.

At this point Gwen and the others were sitting on one of the tables with a soda just enjoying the show when Kira came in through the door and screamed, "Zetsu! Let go of the crazy man! Crazy man, get your tin ass over here!" The "plant" let go on the angry guy and the angry guy walked over to Kira. Pointing to the wall Kira screamed, "look what you did you lumbering ox." he lowered his head and it seemed like he was going to cry. "Now you are not leaving until this is fixed and if it isn't fixed in three hours I am going to string you from the chandelier by your balls!" the large man whimpered and then suddenly he was in white overalls and had a wheel barrel full of cement.

"I shall do what the slave driver asks!" he yelled and ran over to the hole in the wall and started to fix it. Sighing Kira walked over to ware Gwen was sitting and said, "so what sup?"

"Just looking for Krit have you seen her?" she said finishing her soda. Hinata wasn't even paying any attention anymore as she was now in on the poker table and robbing the rest of the guys of everything that they owned. Neji wondered ware his cousin had learned how to play poker so well as he watched them play.

"You mean she isn't here?" said Kira.

"Nope I can't find her, and umm there is another problem."

"What could be worse than Krit running around on her own when we don't know ware she is?"

"Uh Ino has "IT" said Gwen quietly. Kira's eyes widened a bit and stepped back.

"I though I told Tobi to burry that damn thing." Kira said in a frustrated whisper.

"Well he hid it in her room, and I think she "woke it up" to."

"Well shit we are really fucked now," said Kira

**Meanwhile**

Krit had gotten out of the water and was looking around for someone, anyone; she had ended up in a part of the hotel that she had never been, or just didn't remember. When she saw a kitten in a cage she new ware she was. _The Labs_; Krit had never approved of using animals in experiments; humans were so much better and easier to find. She took the little kitten out and held it as she walked through the labs.

"Lets get you and everyone else out of here little one," said Krit as she snuggled the little creature. Turning around she saw Tobi in one of the cages, he was waving to get her attention.

"Hey can I come out?" asked Tobi seeing that he had gotten Krit's attention.

"Why are you in there?" asked Krit giving Tobi a weird look.

"Kira says I am stupid," was Tobi's reply. Putting the cat on her head, Krit walked over to Tobi's cage and unlocked it.

**Else** **ware**

Ino was still sitting at the table and had been very quiet for the entire dinner even after Gwen was gone and Shikamaru and Chouji had noticed it.

"Hey Ino are you alright?" asked Chouji looking at her. She seemed to snap out of a kind of trance and looked up at him and nodded a yes and gave a weak smile.

"You know, Gwen isn't here. I think you could get away with talking," said Shikamaru as he glanced over toward her.

'_The fat one will be easy to trick but this one seems a lot smarter, say something to get him off your back and leave the table'_ "I am fine guys really, I am just a little tired is all I think I will go to bed," with that she stood up and walked away.

"She must be really tired if she isn't talking," said Chouji after eating an orange.

"She isn't going to bed, she went in a different direction then the rooms," said Shikamru looking after her. Chouji then looked in the same direction then back at Shikamaru.

"You know I recall Krit and Gwen looking nervous when Ino walked in, and she is carrying that little black bag."

"Something is wrong lets follow her," said Shikamaru as he stood up and started to walk in the same direction that Ino had gone in. They say her but she was quit a ways ahead of them already. They quietly followed her and eventually caught up, but were stating to wonder if she new ware she was going because it seemed like they were going in circles.

Then they herd her speak, "I am trying but they won't stop. . . .I don't want to hurt them. . . . Alright if you say so." Then she stopped dead and turned around to face them; seeing as it was a hallway they couldn't go hide any ware. She then held up two little figurines that looked like they had been carved out of soap and said, "sorry guys" as she threw them against the wall.

Everything went black for Shikamaru and Chouji. Shika wasn't unconscious yet and he vaguely remembered being dragged into a room labeled, _Control Room_.

**Somewhere else**

"Alright we need to find Krit before something bad happens, and luckily I have prepared just in case this happened. However we need to go back to the dinning hall." said Kira.

"Alright. Hey you guys coming?" asked Gwen as she looked over at the rest of the group playing poker. Most of them seemed to be occupied with what they were doing.

"I will come, Hinata got all my money anyway," said Gaara. "Not to mention seeing my brother in that skirt has scared me for life." Kankuro just glared at his brother and stomped off.

"Watch out Gaara, Kira has a problem with dressing guys up and you might be next," said Gwen jokingly.

"There is a bondage outfit that would look really good on him," said Kria as she started to circle Gaara. Seeing how this could be very bad for him Gaara ran over to Gwen and tried to hide behind her.

"Kira please keep your thoughts to yourself," said Gwen as she started to head for the dinning hall.

Once they got there they realized that Shikamaru, Chouji, and Ino were gone. "Well it looks like IT got them. So who are we going to find Krit by coming to the dinning hall?" asked Gwen.

"like this." With that Kira pushed a button on the wall and the floor went down making the table and chairs disappeared. Then it came back up with nothing on it so now that room was empty. Next Kira pushed another button and the section of floor they were standing on raised up high above the rest of the floor, and then finally pushing one of the last buttons a, huge pipe opened from the ceiling and millions of M&M's fell from it, almost filling up the room half way.

"How is this going to get her here? She doesn't like chocolate," said Gwen giving Kira a weird look.

"You will see," said Kira as she pulled out a walkie-talkie and said into it, "Krit, the brown ones are touching the blue ones!"

Kira's voices could be herd through out the entire hotel, and after only a few seconds after her little broadcast they herd, "NOOOOOOOOO!" suddenly Krit burst through a door that was now conveniently at the top of the wall. Diving head first into the M&M's Gaara could see that she had started to organize them.

"You have any idea how long it is going to take her to organize that many M&M's?" asked Gwen, watching with slight fascination.

"No idea but it should be plenty of time to find Ino and the others so that IT doesn't get into the Control Room. Besides I think that she can take care of her self for awhile. They then turned around and took a different root to the control room seeing as the other one was now buried under 4 tons of M&Ms.

On the way they noticed that there were animals randomly walking in the halls. "What is with all the animals?" asked Gaara as he avoided tripping over a dog that was sleeping in the hallway.

"Looks like Krit found her way into the Labs," said Kira.

"You do animal testing here?" asked Gwen.

"Well yes and no. No we do not test them here, but we get them from one of Krit's demented relatives and we need to keep them in cages because some of them have bizarre behavior."

"Bizarre how?" asked Gaara looking back at the dog he had walked over. However his question was answered when the dog looked up at him and mooed.

"Were lucky most of the dogs are harmless. It's the cats that are dangerous, and some of the birds have become crazed blood thirsty zombie birds." as Kira said this Gwen pulled out a gun and started looking up above her. As if on cue a bird flew down at Gwen. Screaming she fired at it several times. When it hit the ground Gwen continued to fire rounds into the un-moving corpse of the bird.

"Gwen you can stop shooting it," said Kira seeing that Gwen was going to waist all of the ammo if she kept that up. Slowly Gwen regained her composure and walked on. Luckily they didn't run into any more bird as they went to the Control Room. Quietly they walked into the control room but they didn't see Ino, Chouji, or Shikamaru. However there was a shrunken head on pedestal in the middle of the room.

"What did you do to them?" asked Kira pointing a finger at the head. At first nothing happened but then the eyes opened and its mouth started to move.

"I didn't do anything to them. Someone came and took them away. Now what is it you want? I am very busy trying to open the gate to Hell." said the head in a bored tone.

"Were here to stop you from doing that!" yelled Gwen, "There is no way I am going back there!" With that Gwen grabbed the head from the pedestal; however they noticed that the water that was running through all of the pipes suddenly drained and was replaced with a fiery inferno.

"I smell fish sticks," said Gaara absentmindedly. This made Kira giggle at his comment.

Gwen didn't seem as amused as she started to shake the head and yell, "how do you make it stop!"

"You can't unless you can figure out how to clog the main gateway then there is nothing you can do," laughed the shrunken head. Glaring at the thing Gwen walked over to one of the pipes, opened it and threw the head into it. The screaming from the shrunken head died out as Gwen slammed the door shut. "Ok Kira ware is the main portal to the underworld?"

"In the dinning hall," replied Kira as she pointed back the way they had come.

"Why did you put the dinning hall over the portal to the underworld?" asked Gaara as they began their walk back.

"So that if I needed to sacrifice like fifty people they would already be there and no see anything coming," replied Kira as if it was obvious as to why she put it there.

"Wasn't Krit and all of those M&Ms in the dinning hall?" asked Gwen as she remembered.

"Hope Hades like chocolate," said Kira. Right before they were about to open the door to the dinning hall Tobi and Kabuto walked by wheeling wheel-barrows full of sliced potatoes. The three were about to comment but Deidara walked by pushing a live cow into the door, but stopped momentarily to wave and then shut the door.

They stood there a long time before Kira said, "if I didn't know Krit was in there I would be disturbed." Gwen nodded in agreement; Gaara was still confused about the cow.

Taking a deep breath Kira opened the door to the room, and was greeted by the last thing she had expected. All around the room there were giant piles of grated cheese of multiple different kinds. The floor was completely covered in what looked like dough, and everyone they had left in the casino were trying to role it out.

"Heads up!" screamed Neji as he jumped from one of the pipes he was standing on and pulled a cord releasing a giant flood of red goop. At first they thought it was blood but then realized that it was in fact tomato sauce.

"Spread the sauce slaves!" screamed Krit as she cracked a wipe from atop the pile of pepper jack cheese.

"If she wasn't standing on cheese I could take her seriously," mumbled Gaara.

"Krit! What the hell are you doing!" yelled Gwen.

"Making pizza," replied Krit as everyone started taking armfuls of cheese and spreading it around on top of the uncooked pizza.  
"WHY!"

Reaper walked over with a cell phone in one hand and a pencil and note book in the other hand, "Yo boss Hade's first order is done and the second is well on its way to being cooked, but then he just ordered a small cheese pizza to go with it and asked if he could get it for half price."

"What? Half price no way!"

"But I have him on the phone and . . . "

"Gimmie that," said Krit in an aggravated voice as she grabbed the phone. "Sorry sir but we can't sell one half price unless you buy a side dish. . . Yes yes we have already cooked you large Canadian bacon, and are about to cook you medium half pepperoni, quarter beef and quarter potatoes pizza." As she talked they watched as the cow Deidara had herded in was thrown into a grinder and just ground over half over the pizza. While Kabuto spread the potatoes and Neji and Tobi were playing Frisbee with giant pepperonis.

"Our side dishes are bread sticks and. . . yes we could fill them with cheese. Alright would you like anything else with that? Okay it will be there is in about an hour." Krit turned the cell off and handed it back to Reaper before yelling, "how is the medium coming?!"

"Done!" yelled Neji as he set one of the pepperonis on the pizza. A buzzer sounded as everyone working on the pizza, (literally) ran off quickly. The floor opened and hell Fire shot up momentarily as the pizza lowered and disappeared. Soon the floor returned and a large ball of dough shot from the ceiling and landed in the middle. Every ninja available started to spread it out on the floor. Krit barked out a few more orders for bread sticks.

After watching Hinata working a concrete roller to spread it Gwen said, "you are using the fires of hell to make pizza?"

"Hades wanted something to eat before taking over the mortal world," replied Krit as she punched a few numbers into the calculator.

"And your serving him pizza!" yelled Kira. "I have been giving him human souls to keep him from taking over the world!" Krit didn't say anything as she lifted the calculator up and showed Kira the numbers on it. After looking at it for a moment Kira said, "he knows we only except cash right?"

"Of course," smiled Krit. Kira squealed in joy as she ran off. Walking over to Gwen Krit said, "not to mention ninjas work for peanuts. Or in Neji's case pepperoni." Glancing over they saw Neji sitting on a large stack of pepperoni and eating one. "Not to mention they have abilities beyond that of normal humans and work much faster and more efficiently. Plus we are saving money by not having to run a bunch of machines."

Gwen just nodded for a minutes then said, "you do realize that if we don't get them back to their own dimension it would alter the space time continuum." Gwen could tell that Krit hadn't thought of that as she cursed.

"Once their done with this order I will send them back, plus with all this pizza he ate maybe Hades will just take a nap while we close the portal to hell."

"You can close it?"

"Yeah no problem," said Krit as she made a few notes on her notebook and looked up and yelled. "Hurry up people we only have a few minutes left." The ninjas simply nodded and worked a little faster.

"I have two questions," said Gwen. "One, how did you get them all to lisen to you?

"I said once this order was done that all of them would have their memories erased and get t go home."

"Ah, and two were did all the M&Ms go?"

"I can turn chocolate into cheese."

". . .Now all we need to do is turn water into wine."

"Who do I look like Jesus? I can't do that." Gwen just laughed at Krit's statement as the ninja's finished making the pizza, and bread sticks. Once the pizza was gone everyone stood in front of them covered in flour, pizza sauce, cheese, and meat.

"Alright everyone as I promised you will all go home and have no memory if this event," that said Krit opened a portal and they all walked through. Once that was done she pointed her remote at the ground and a large click sound was heard.

After thanking Kira for the stay Krit and Gwen left the hotel to see what other problems they could cause people. The van had been fixed and had more gas in it so Gwen started to drive them back to a more livable area.

"Did we forget anyone?" asked Gwen as they drove.

"I don't think so, why?"

"Hmm just a feeling I guess."

"You're probably just hungry"

"Yeah"

**Meanwhile **

Orochimaru still hadn't unclogged the toilet.

A/N: WOOOh I am done! If you people had any idea how long it took me to do this would probably all laugh at me. Cause I have been working on other crap and this was like at the bottom of my "To Do" list. But hell here yah go one ball of random stupidity!


End file.
